(XX)

I am left with little else than the isolating loneliness of my experience–but it does not have to be this way. It can, in fact, be the opposite. Through whatever wisdom I am able to accrue, I can share it with a person or persons who need it. I can empathize with something not yet…

(XVIII)

I don’t believe in the gospels, the Koran, the Talmud, the eternity of the human soul, hell, or the promises of leaders; but I desperately want to believe in fate. A certain kind of fate. The fate that weaves through the seven verses of “Tangled Up in Blue”.

(XVII)

Although most of my life is spent alone, being alone scares me. It cedes the control of my heart. I wrote to make my thoughts commodities I can control. From my emptiness and fear, I weave my puppet strings, rubbing against my callused hands. And the world will dance. And the world will obey. Other…

(XVI)

I fall back on my bed, stretching out, thinking of the time, in 2010, I entered a national poetry contest. I must have sent 60 pages worth of stuff. I wrestled it into an envelope and hid it behind a two paragraph letter of introduction. I felt naked and confident–I was doing something. Of course,…

(XV)

When I was younger, I used to lie in bed and try to piece out the cuts of a scene from a film.  It was a person lying in bed, like I was, and one of the shots was a close up on the character’s hand as he gripped the bed sheet, just before waking up, then…

(XIV)

It would seem that water would lose its effectiveness, but it does not. I love it because it is everything. Tonight dragonflies are circling above the rocks, passing in front of the blue and then the pink, moving toward the water to just hover over it. I wonder if they hear the water cresting against the…

(XIII)

When I have been anxious lately–an occurrence of more and more frequency–I put on the Gillian welch/Dave Rawlings/Punch Bros cover of “Will the Circle Be Unbroken”. Sometimes, I will turn off the lights in my bathroom, play the song through my phone, setting it next to the head of the shower, and step into the tub. As…

(XII)

I laid in your bed with you last night.  We had sat on the couch and you pushed your foot against mine and I leaned against a pillow and looked at you with my large eyes; we were more intimate there than we had ever been before.  I asked if your bed was comfortable, and…

(XI)

I believe in the goodness of people, that they are all wanting the same basic thing, that they are all afraid and enclosed in their own expectation, that there are different ways that people outwardly deal with this; that, obtusely, the expression of feeling is often the covering up of another feeling and by layering…